All For Nothing
by IluvMarkSalling
Summary: Fourth in the 'Someday We Will Meet Again' series. Shelby finally meets Rachel.


**A/N: I really hope you guys like this. I'll write at least one more in this series, so don't get mad at me for the way this ends.**

**If I owned Glee, the cheerio's uniforms would be a lot skimpier.**

"I have a date with her." Jesse says one day after rehearsal.

"Excuse me?" I ask.

"I have a date with Rachel on Friday."

"No I heard you. However I remember telling you to _befriend_ her."

"Come on Shelby, I actually like her."

"Jess, you know I care about you, but you are a man-whore. I've heard about what you do to girls, and I don't want you to hurt my baby."

"I won't, I promise." Jesse says. You sigh, and just pray that he keeps his promise.

"Why weren't you at rehearsal last night?" You ask Jesse. Though he has transferred to McKinley, he still goes to Vocal Adrenaline rehearsals. You weren't happy when he transferred, but it's too late to go back now.

"I was with Rachel." He says.

"You could have come after."

"Well when I left, rehearsal was over." Jesse says without thinking about it.

"You were with her at midnight?" You ask, uneasily.

Jesse's eyes widen when he realizes what he said. "Please don't be angry, we didn't actually do… it."

"But you tried?" Ok, you are definitely angry now.

"Well yes, but we didn't go through with it."

"What the hell Jesse! I trusted you, and now I find you tried to de-flower my daughter!" You shout, advancing on him. The terrified look on his face would have been funny under different circumstances, but you can only focus on trying not to wrap your hands around his throat.

"I'm really sorry." He manages to choke out.

"Sorry, doesn't cut it! You better fix this, St. James." You say darkly, jabbing him in the chest with your finger. He nods quickly.

"Get out of my sight." Jesse scampers off.

* * *

"Okay, stop, stop!" You yell. Vocal Adrenaline stops the number they were performing. "Everyone take five, except Jesse. I want to talk to you."

"What's up Shelby?" Jesse asks, walking up to you.

"What's up? I think I should be asking you that. You are awful today. So what's wrong?"

Jesse sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "It's Rachel. She triple cast me in her glee project with her two ex boyfriends."

You feel slightly surprised. You've only seen her a few times, but she looks like such an innocent girl. Not a great sense of fashion, but still.

"So what are you going to do about it?" You ask him.

"What do you mean? I'm not doing anything, I broke up with her."

You see red. "What? No! Jesse, you can't do that, I'm so close to meeting her."

"I'm sorry Shelby, but I can't do this anymore."

"Please." You whisper. His expression softens. He's never heard you sound so desperate. "Please Jesse. I need to meet her." You say.

After a few minutes, Jesse speaks again. "Okay. I'll do it."

You hug him tightly and he lets out a little squeak of surprise at your sudden affection.

* * *

"I got her to listen to the tape." Jesse says.

"Really? What did she say?" You ask eagerly.

"She said that you have a beautiful voice. She's doing everything she can to meet you. It's hard not to just tell her, but I think she's close."

You let a gleeful smile take up your face. You know that's its only a matter of time until you can finally meet your Rachel.

* * *

"Five, six, seven eight, and five, six, seven, eight, okay, stop, just stop! You guys aren't getting it. Theatricality isn't about crazy costumes. It's not enough to douse yourself in gasoline. You have to light yourself on fire to make it work. It doesn't have to be a nuclear explosion, it can be like a quiet storm. You just have to radiate emotion. Show what's deep inside you. That's what theatricality is truly about." Your glee kids just stare at you. "Do I have to demonstrate? Funny Girl, E flat." You shoo the kids off stage and begin to sing.

* * *

When you finish the song you are lost in the awe of being on stage, people listening to you sing, and with the bright lights of the Carmel High auditorium, it feels almost like performing on a Broadway stage. Well, the closest you're ever going to get.

Your thoughts are interrupted by a soft voice.

"Ms. Corcoran?" You look towards her and you swear your heart stops beating. It's Rachel. Your jaw drops slightly and you look in to her nervous eyes, feeling déjà vu.

"My name is Rachel Berry… I'm your daughter." She finally says. You nod stupidly, not knowing what to say. In your head all you are thinking is: 'Dammit, Shelby! Say something! Fifteen years and you don't even know what to say! Shit, don't just stand there!' But your body isn't co-operating.

"I'm sorry, maybe I should go." She says, when you just stare at her.

"No, please Rachel, stay." You finally manage. You turn to your glee kids, and with one raised eyebrow, they scramble out of the auditorium.

You work hard to not trip down the stage stairs, because your whole body is shaking. When you finally reach her, you take note of the mixture of shock and nervousness on her face.

"Do you want to sit down?" You ask her.

"Okay." She agrees. You feel relieved when Rachel sits a couple rows in front of you, so you can stare at her without her noticing.

You both sit in silence for a few minutes, not knowing what to say. Finally, Rachel speaks.

"Did you ever regret it?" She asks.

"Yes, then no, then so much." You reply. You realize she probably doesn't understand what you mean by that, so she changes the subject.

"Was it hard for you to not become a star, to not have your dreams come true?"

You wince, though it has been years since you lived in New York, it's still a touchy subject. "It felt like the fisher king's wound. Never really heals." You watch her process that.

"Wow, you see the world with the same fierce theatricality as I do. I mean, even the way we're sitting right now is so dramatic, and yet we both feel so comfortable with it." Rachel remarks.

"I've missed so much." You say, mostly to yourself. You swallow and lean forward. "How do you feel?"

Rachel turns around to face you. "Thirsty." She says. Upon seeing your confused look, she elaborates. "When I was little, and I'd get sad, my dads would bring me a glass of water. It got so that I couldn't tell if I was sad, or just- thirsty."

'Crap'. You think. Rachel has two loving parents already. You never thought if she even wanted or needed to meet you. Sure, she wanted a mom, but you don't know if you can live up to her expectations. You don't want to disappoint her, and you don't want to let her down.

Being the coward you are, you jump up from your seat, spouting some excuse about calling her. You don't know what you are saying, only that you need to get out of there.

* * *

Later at home, you realize that it must've sounded like you didn't want to know her, and you really want to just punch yourself in the face for being such an idiot.

* * *

Two days later, god has decided to be kind to you, and try and make up for the way your life has turned out.

"Mom?" You hear. You want to cry out of sheer relief that she forgave you even though you really acted awful before.

You turn towards her. "Honey, you've got to stop sneaking into these rehearsals." You meant it in a joking way, and try to smile at her, but it doesn't come out right. Instead, once again, Rachel thinks she's imposing on you. Shit.

"It's important." Rachel says, unbuttoning her coat.

"Oh dear god." You say. Rachel looks as if the Beanie Baby factory has thrown up on her.

"My dads can't sew. I really need a mom right now." Rachel's eyes are pleading.

"Sure, Rachel. Come on." You get up. Rachel looks surprised at the warm reception, and is probably wondering if you have a multiple personality disorder or something.

When Rachel is still confused, and not following you, you reach for her hand and start to lead her out of the auditorium.

'Oh, holy crap!' You are shouting in your mind. 'Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! This is the first time I'm touching her! Wow, she's really warm, and her hands are so soft and small. Okay, I should really stop talking to myself, even in my head.'

"So, um, glee costume?" You ask.

"Yes." She says. From what Jesse told you, she's usually pretty talkative, so you wonder why she's so quiet.

"Tell me about yourself.' You say. You realize you sound like a talk show host, but you don't care. You just want to get to know Rachel.

"Um, what do you want to know?"

"Everything." You answer. Rachel gives you a small smile.

"Well, I won my first singing competition when I was eight."

"Years? That's impressive."

"No, months."

* * *

"I know why you called me here, and don't worry, my reconnection is not some sort of plot to mess with you guys at regionals." You say.

"It's not regionals I'm worried about. It's Rachel. She's special. She's got all the best of you. She's strong willed, dramatic, wildly talented." He says. You grin, glad she got all that from you.

"But she's not hard like you." He continues. Hard? You don't think you're hard. Sure, you've had to go through some stuff, overcome a lot, and may be tough on your glee club, but you've already noticed that you have a soft spot for Rachel.

"…and she's clearly convinced herself that you are as committed to this reunion as she is. And I don't think you are. You're not prepared to have a teenage daughter, are you?"

Who the hell does he think he is? You barely know each other. You aren't prepared to have a teenage daughter, but you are prepared to have Rachel. She doesn't really fit the stereotypical category of a rebellious teenager that drinks, and whores herself around.

You tell him about not being able to have kids, and then spout some crap to make him leave you alone. You then primly pick up your bag and storm out of his office.

* * *

That afternoon, you find Rachel by the piano. Your day brightens considerably.

She turns around when she hears your footsteps.

"I know why you're here. To say goodbye." She says. You feel utterly confused. You weren't going to leave her at all, and you wonder where the hell her words are coming from. Does she want this? Does she not want to have a relationship? You think about how much her dads love her, and your conversation with Will Schuester, and think that maybe it would be for the best just to go along with it. So you do.

One horribly painful conversation, a wonderful hug, and a great duet later, you sit in your car, blinking back tears as you drive home. When you finally get in your house, you slide down on your couch and let loud sobs overcome you. You waited fifteen years, and it was all for nothing.

**Please, please don't hate me or kill me. I promise this is not the end. If you stick with the series, I think I'll write one more, and you guys will get your happy ending.**

** Please review :)**


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